Thursday, December 13, 2007

Cricket Quotas

so we're back from an invigorating whistle-stop tour to the far corners of the earth. and what do we have to show for our travails? what else, but yet another set of cricket quotas from the people who don't know how to keep their mouths shut when they ought to. for if anyone wants their innermost thoughts to be aired for the benefit of nobody at all, all they need to do is drop their gourd...sorry, guard in our presence.

from post-bangalore test reactions to pre-india down under bluster, we have it all for the benefit of you, dear readers. cooked up with a generous pinch of salt guaranteed to make your blood pressure shoot up to stratospheric levels.

"if i had jaggu dalmiya and the rest of the selectors under my thumb, i'd have achieved much more as a captain." sachin tendulkar giving a fitting riposte to sourav's whine about how much more he might have achieved had he batted higher up the order in tests.

"if i had not become complacent i'd have achieved much more as a cricketer." sourav ganguly, as is his wont, letting his guard down now that he has booked his place in the indian team for another year.

"if i had not become chappell's captain i'd still be the captain of india." rahul dravid in a reflective mood after the indo-pak series.

"it's my turn to prove chappell wrong." virender sehwag in an optimistic mood after being picked for the tour of australia.

"i'm sorry, but i'm not fit to answer that question." munaf patel being munaf patel in the face of the demands being placed on him as an international cricketer.

"i'm sorry, but i won't answer that question until the camera is turned towards me." shoaib akhtar being shahrukh khan.

"i was told that i have a shoulder injury. i'm still trying to find it." gautam gambhir's reaction when asked for a reaction on being left out for the tour of australia.

"i'm really happy to have made the cut for the trip to australia." left-arm spinner murali kartik showing off his googly and dismissing us with his plans for the tour of australia, as a commentator.

"we're thinking of asking braces to pad up and face tait." daniel vettori on how new zealand plan to counter the pace of an enraged tait and a hare-brained john bracewell.

"it's disgusting that someone is trying to do to tait what we have all along been doing to murali." ricky ponting reacting to the questions being raised about tait's action.

"look at me." rameez raja to rameez raja when he isn't with other people.

"look at me." rameez raja when he is with other people.

"i'm going to find myself a godfather and ask him to improve his bowling." indian medium pacer, ranadeb bose on how he plans to improve his bowling skills, and make it back into the indian team.

"my target is to get fit enough and bowl faster than anil kumble." the rapidly slowing munaf patel on how he plans to resurrect his floundering career.

"i'd be quite willing to captain the test side." the ever-entertaining younis khan once again declining to be captain of the pakistani cricket team.

and with that, we come to an end to this round of cricket quotas. we'll be back sooner than a cloudburst with more from the only program that gives you all the news that doesn't make the news.

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