we've had enough of your tantrums. yes, you're good. yes, you deserve to find a place in the test side. yes, your father must be appeased. yes, you might even become the living legend. but for that, you're going to have to work just a wee bit harder. you might be the best odi batsman in the indian side but that doesn't make you good enough to displace one of the best batsman india have ever had from his place in the batting order. a senior player like dravid cannot be shunted around like this. you, yuvi, need to earn your stripes. you, yuvi, need to take responsbility. you, yuvi, might well be in line for an out-of-turn promotion. you, yuvi, need to pay attention to us. and you, dear reader, must send this out to seven people after we're done. and before the boxing day test match. for this massively important missive must reach yuvi. and now, in the interest of narrative complexity and the need for greater authority, we shall switch in and out of third person. yes, yuvi deserves a place in the boxing day side. but he must be tested sternly for it. we must respect the reluctance of dravid to open the batting. consider how insulting dravid must find our disregard for his unarguable stature as one of the best india has ever produced. a bitterer and sullener dravid could be disastrous to india's chances in the series. yuvi, you don't want to be responsible for that. what you want to be is more responsible. you want to open the batting. you want to shelter a nervous sehwag and give him one more test to get used to being back in the scheme of things. you want to show the team that you're ready to don, with dhoni, the mantle of the future face of indian cricket. you want to send a signal out to dravid that you are ready to take over from him. you want to quietly remind sachin you are doing something even sachin won't do. besides, opening the batting for india in this time of crisis will send a much-needed message to your detractors. the ones that think you're immature. spoiled. pampered. tantrum prone. too big for your boots. and have the temerity to try and push rahul 'the untouchable' dravid around. you're young. you're strong. you're a demi-god. you're adonis. you're the crown price of indian cricket. you're yuvraj. you can do anything. yes, even open the batting for india. and clatter the bowling. the bowling will be fast. you can be furious. there'll be yawning gaps in the field. you can shred them to bits. the aussie dingos will be snapping at your heels. you can leave them in your wake. the gods will be on your side. you can become one of them. we're certain you'll emerge with flying colours. and if you don't, you have nothing to lose. and much to gain from the experience. the admiration of your beleageared team members and the blue billion. the sigh of relief from an out of fuel, think tank. the fawning articles of praise the highly regarded mouthpieces of the world will write extolling your act of great bravery and selflessness. the knowledge that you have crossed an important milestone in your development as a test player, team man and leader. that you've done your father proud. do it. open the batting. grow up.
PS: please keep this appeal going. pass it on to seven people you know and so on and on that it eventually reaches yuvi. (it's the only way anything we say ever will.) every seven people you send it to will get you closer to millions of dollars of unclaimed funds lying in frozen bank accounts in nigeria.